


Wherever I've Gone (I Find Myself There)

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Drama, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-22
Updated: 2006-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:49:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8699686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Interlude in the new otp 'verse. Thanksgiving with the boys. This is the sequel to I Need Direction to Perfection (Help Me Out).





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Title:** Wherever I’ve Gone (I Find Myself There)  
**Characters:** SV!Jensen/GG!Jared  
**Rating:** NC-17.   
**Word Count:** 4, 035  
**Disclaimer:** I don’t own Jared or Jensen, I’m not affiliated with them, and none of the following ever happened. Of that, I can be certain.   
**Summary:** Interlude in the new otp ‘verse. Thanksgiving with the boys.  
**Notes:** This is the sequel to I Need Direction to Perfection (Help Me Out). Part 3 to come.  
  
  
  
  
  
“So, here’s the thing,” Jared says, coming to a full stop just outside their arrival gate and spinning around to face Jensen. “My sister’s picking us up.”  
  
Jensen quirks a brow, standing hipshot with a hand deep in his pocket as Jared stares at him. “And?” he prompts after a full minute of nothing but the dull roar of the teeming airport and the rumbling of planes departing just outside.  
  
Jared takes another few seconds to just appreciate the sight, to _know_ that Jensen is here with him, in his hometown, and can’t help the satisfied smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Just thought I’d give you a heads up, is all. I didn’t tell her you were coming, and…”  
  
“What?” Jensen still looks composed enough, but there’s a growing anxiety in his eyes, and this time Jared out-and-out grins.  
  
“She watched Dark Angel,” is Jared’s short explanation, and he knows Jensen understands when the worry is immediately replaced with amused acknowledgment. Jared shrugs his shoulders, completely unrepentant, and grins wider. “Sorry, man.”  
  
“Great,” Jensen drawls, smirking.  
  
“Yeah, I know, I told her that show was stupid,” Jared agrees, feigning innocence when Jensen purses his lips in mock-offense. “But Megan’s pretty cool, she won’t try to like yank out your hair and clone you or anything. Probably.” He shrugs his shoulders, turning to scan the terminal as Jensen gapes behind him. “Oh! Hey, there she is…”  
  
He’s already moving forward, lips stretched and teeth flashing as he watches Megan’s dark ponytail bouncing along with her toes. He catches her up in his arms, laughing as she punches him in the shoulder and lets out a squeal of “JT! Put me down or I’ll kick your ass to Galveston!”  
  
He laughs again, setting her back on her feet and watching in amused affection as she huffs up at him, eyes sparkling, and makes a show of straightening her clothes. “You couldn’t kick a penny across the street.” Megan gives him the stink-eye and then her gaze flicks over Jared’s shoulder. Her mouth rounds, and Jared swallows another chuckle.  
  
He half-turns to include Jensen in his gaze, seeing the awkward hesitation coloring Jensen’s features for a split-second before his expression is masked by a smooth smile. Megan’s still mouthing like a goldfish beside him, and Jared figures he probably shouldn’t be enjoying this moment so damn much. “Megan, this is Jensen Ackles,” he tells her completely unnecessarily, and wonders if his sister might actually choke on the wad of gum in her mouth. “He’s gonna hang out with us this weekend.”  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Jensen says, all slick charm and politeness, reaching a hand out for Megan’s. Jared watches his sister’s cheeks flush a bit, and she flashes him an incredulous look before shaking Jensen’s hand.  
  
“Hi.” She sounds more bewildered than nervous. “I’m sorry…I didn’t know JT knew you.”  
  
“He’s a man of many mysteries,” Jensen agrees with a straight face, and Jared feels a flush creeping up his own cheeks. Jensen holds onto his sister’s hand a bit longer than Jared deems necessary, and then grins over at Jared, and the curve of lips is so naughty it makes Jared blink. “Wanna tell her how we met, JT?”  
  
He doesn’t miss the way Jensen’s voice caresses those two letters, and he shoots his sister a quick look, but Megan’s too busy staring up at Jensen like she’s never seen a goddamned pair of green eyes and a pretty face before. Jared wishes he didn’t understand all too well. “We met at one of Tom’s parties,” he answers, hoping like hell his sister’s too distracted by Jensen to notice the stammer in his voice. “Hit it off pretty well, I guess.”  
  
At that, his sister blinks and turns sloe-eyes on him. “You guess?” she cracks, and it’s so _Megan_ that Jared relaxes a bit. “Jeez, Jared…you bringin’ home friends you aren’t even sure you’re friends with?”  
  
Jensen laughs, genuine and careless, and Jared knows then and there that he’s so fucking screwed over this guy. Jensen catches him staring, and whatever he sees in Jared’s eyes makes his smile fade a bit, his eyes heat up, and Jared’s jaw twitches.  
  
“Do you know Chad, too?” Megan’s asking, and Jared manages to drag his gaze away from Jensen’s in time to stifle a groan. Megan loves Chad, and Jared’s not sure if hearing Jensen call one of his best friends a self-centered prick with a height problem is gonna endear Jensen to his sister.  
  
Jensen goes stiff next to him, but all he says is, “Can’t say that I do” in as civil a tone as Jared’s ever heard him use when referring to Chad. But Jared can see the hints of strain at the corners of Jensen’s eyes and lips, and not for the first time he wonders just what the hell kind of history really exists between Jensen and Chad.   
  
“Did you bring the Land Cruiser?” Jared asks, turning his attention back to his sister and taking her by the arm to steer toward the baggage claim. “Because there’s no way I can fit in that cracker box you drive.”  
  
“Maybe if you weren’t a total freak of nature, you could. And yes, I drove the damn Land Cruiser.” Megan pats him on the chest, then leans forward to hiss in his ear, “Jensen _Ackles?_ Oh, you are so dead for not telling me about this.”  
  
“It was kind of last minute,” Jared says truthfully, voice pitched low. “And stop poking me with your elbow.”  
  
“I’m wearing _sweatpants_ , JT.”  
  
“Should I erase his memory with my bendy mind powers?” Jared wiggles his eyebrows, laughing when Megan’s elbow jams into his ribs again. “Ow! Goddamn, that’s pointy!”  
  
“Don’t take the damn Lord’s name in vain,” Megan mutters, shooting a furtive look over her shoulder. “He’s even more gorgeous in person. Where the hell is he gonna _sleep?_ ”  
  
Jared blinks, trying to keep up with the breakneck speed of conversation that always occurs around Megan. “In a bed,” he suggests, shrugging his shoulders and turning back to find Jensen following after them. “Dude, you wanna sleep in a bed, right?”  
  
“Jared, I’m gonna _kill_ you—”  
  
“Wherever you’ll have me,” Jensen answers, oblivious to the undercurrents between brother and sister, and Jared’s smile wavers at the double meaning Jensen doesn’t even try to hide. He’s abruptly thankful for the length of his shirttails and the fact that there’s absolutely no fucking reason his sister would ever _ever_ expect for him to be responding to a guy like this.  
  
He clears his throat, wanting to frown at the sexy leer on Jensen’s face, but unable to stop his own smirk from forming. “I’m sure Mama made up the extra bed in my room,” is all he says, sending Jensen a secret smile. “Shouldn’t be a problem.”  
  
“Wait, Mom _knew_ you had a friend coming?” Megan asks, voice full of righteous indignation. “She didn’t tell _me._ ”  
  
“Because it’s…none of your business?” Jared muses, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Yeah. Yeah, that must be it.”  
  
Megan’s eyes are dark slits when she steps right up into Jared’s personal space. “I hate you.”  
  
Jared grins and pulls her into a hug, crushing her until she squeaks. “God, it’s good to be home.”  
  
  
 

***

  
  
  
“Don’t look at that,” Jared says for the fifteenth time in as many minutes, practically tripping over his old football beanbag chair while trying to get to Jensen. In a move he thinks his ballet-inclined younger sister would appreciate, he manages not only to stay upright, but comes out of the pirouette with the framed picture of himself winning the state debate tournament in hand.  
  
“God, what _can_ I look at?” Jensen huffs in exasperation, but his eyes are twinkling with humor as he drags Jared’s desk chair over and straddles it. He cocks a brow, lips curved and eyes catching the dim lamplight.  
  
Jared stares for a moment. “You are so fucking hot,” he blurts out, helplessly, and Jensen’s smile slips.   
  
There’s a beat of silence, and then Jensen tilts his head, leaning forward to murmur, “You hitting on me, JT?”  
  
Jared groans good-naturedly at the use of the nickname; it’s been flying all over the place since they’d arrived that night and every time, he’d felt Jensen’s gaze on him, quiet and amused. A blush is already working its way up his neck, so he sits down on his bed and thrusts his chin out, meeting Jensen’s gaze head on before saying firmly, “Yeah, I am.”  
  
Jensen smirks. “Good.” He stands up slowly, shooting a quick glance at the door. Finding it locked, he moves over to Jared, who can’t do more than stare before Jensen’s shoving him back hard against the mattress and straddling him like he’d done the chair. Jared barely misses the headboard, and he lets out a little _oof_ before reaching up for Jensen’s hips.  
  
“Shh…” Jensen whispers, lips making a wicked curve as he lowers his head. “You wanna get everyone’s attention?” He nuzzles Jared’s jaw, mouthing along his Adam’s apple, fingers creeping up the length of Jared’s thigh.  
  
Jared swallows and pumps his hips once. “God,” he chokes out, digging into Jensen’s waist and staring up at him from under heavy lids. “N-No one’s gonna bother us…they’re all asleep now anyway.”  
  
Jensen pauses, mouth hovering. “It’s ten-thirty.”  
  
“We’re in San Antonio,” Jared answers wryly. “Some of the people around here still don’t lock their doors at night.” When Jensen keeps staring down at him, an adorable expression of disbelief coloring his features, Jared grins and reaches a hand up to wrap around Jensen’s neck. He tugs him forward on a low growl, “C’mere, city boy. You want I should show you how we get up to it out in the country?”  
  
Jensen makes a face at his exaggerated drawl, and Jared’s hit with sudden inspiration. He slips out from under Jensen, ignoring his whining protest, and walks over to open the window. When he glances back over his shoulder, it’s to find Jensen sprawled out on his bed, one hand slowly rubbing the hard line of his dick through his inseam and watching Jared with heavy lids. Jared’s thoughts splinter into a thousand fragments. “Um…”  
  
Jensen’s bottom lip disappears between his teeth and his hips thrust into his palm, and he keeps watching Jared with this knowing little almost-smirk that has sweat breaking out across Jared’s forehead and his hands clenching into fists.  
  
“I wanna…” he tries again, blinking several times in the hopes that it’ll get his synapses firing again. Jensen makes a quiet little sound that usually only happens whenever Jared’s working his dick up his ass, and Jared blows out a breath. “Cut it out,” he mutters without really meaning it.  
  
“Gimme a good reason,” Jensen challenges, reaching for his zipper.  
  
And well, who is Jared to resist a dare like that? He smiles, and then hitches a leg up and over the windowsill. He wiggles his fingers, enjoying the questioning look in Jensen’s eyes before jumping the short distance to the ground. The second his feet hit, he looks up to see Jensen gaping at him from the window. He tilts his head and waves for Jensen to come down.  
  
“You fucking crazy?” Jensen barks a soft laugh, leaning over on his elbows and shaking his head. His voice takes on a harsh whisper that makes Jared bite his lip to keep from laughing. “I’m not coming out there!”  
  
“Why not?” Jared hooks his thumbs in the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. There’s a faint chill in the air, tightening his nipples, but he feels more flushed than cool when he grins and reaches for his belt. “You asked for a good reason.”  
  
“So you jump out a window?” Jensen’s eyes are glittering, following Jared’s every movement as he slides the leather through silver buckle.   
  
“My room’s on the first floor,” Jared points out, fingers moving quickly for his zipper. He sees Jensen lick his lips, and smirks. “You gonna make this a one-man show then?”  
  
Jensen rocks back, expression wavering. “You wanna get naked in your backyard when anyone could look outside and _see_?” Jared doesn’t think he’s imagining the slight hint of admiration mingled with the sarcasm.  
  
He leaves his fly open, shoving his jeans a bit down his hips and crossing his arms. “They’re all on the other side of the house. _Asleep_ ,” he says, again, and hears Jensen cursing softly, sees him toss a look over his shoulder before turning back and shooting Jared a mock glare. A few quick jerks of movement and Jared’s smacked in the face with denim. He catches Jensen’s pants with a surprised laugh, and then Jensen’s awkwardly slinging a leg across, cotton stretching tight across his groin as he vaults over the windowpane with a grumble and a curse. Probably trying not to wind up hanging on a stray nail by his dick.  
  
Jared’s grinning from ear to ear when Jensen walks right up to him and grabs him by the ass with both hands, pulling him up hard against Jensen’s hips. “See, that wasn’t so bad,” Jared says, voice only a little slurred from the effect of Jensen’s dick grinding against his own. “Now we’re havin’ some fun.”  
  
“I’m standing outside in my underwear in the middle of November.”  
  
“Fun,” Jared agrees, sliding his own hands down and around Jensen’s waist. Still seeing a glimpse of doubt gleaming in Jensen’s eyes, he tilts his head and murmurs, “Relax. I used to do this shit all the time, okay?” He thickens his voice to add, “Don’t worry your pretty little head none.”  
  
“I’m not worried about myself,” Jensen mutters, and then a scowl darkens his features. “Wait, what?”  
  
Jared walks backward, pulling Jensen with him, and silences anymore questions with a bruising kiss, dragging Jensen’s head back by the ends of his close-cropped hair. He licks a warm stripe along Jensen’s bottom lip and Jensen growls softly. Jensen’s skin feels hot and smooth under Jared’s palms, and Jared drops a kiss to his shoulder before pulling back to smile.   
  
“Wanna get more comfortable?”  
  
Jensen sneers, looks down at himself again and then stares pointedly at the manicured shrubs surrounding them. “Any more comfy and I’ll end up with a branch up my ass,” he cracks, and Jared snickers.  
  
“You underestimate me.” He shoves Jensen back, enjoying the look of surprise on Jen’s face as he braces himself to fall ass-first to the ground and winds up sprawled in the hanging hammock instead. Jared’s on him before Jensen can curse, limbs tangling and flailing and network cutting into his thighs.  
  
Jensen winds up on top, biting at Jared’s bottom lip, handfuls of hair in his fists. Jared’s hands settle on Jen’s ass through cotton and he sinks back so that his legs swing free and Jensen almost falls over again.  
  
“Cut it out, bitch,” Jensen mutters, turning around and planting his feet on the ground. Jared leans up, unable to resist the smooth curve of muscle shaping Jensen’s back. He strokes softly, and Jensen stretches under his hand.  
  
“Hey, Jen?” His voice has disintegrated into warm breath now, and he bucks up into the crook of Jensen’s thighs as Jensen shifts and grinds down into him. Jensen’s mouth is working beneath his jaw, hands squeezing Jared’s thighs just under his hips.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Jared chews his lip, not really sure of how this is gonna go down, but he’s been thinking of practically nothing _but_ this moment for months since it last happened, and he thinks he might go fucking crazy if he doesn’t just put it out there. Only, it’s kind of hard with Jensen already dragging his underwear down his hips so Jared can slide right in.  
  
“Wait,” he chokes out, hissing through his teeth when Jensen’s ass rubs along his dick. Jensen makes a sound of annoyance, shooting an impatient look over his shoulder, and Jared just blurts it out. “I want you to fuck me.”  
  
The steady roll of Jensen’s hips slows, and there’s a beat of silence punctuated by heavy breathing. Jared’s almost glad he can’t see Jensen’s face when Jensen begins, “Jared, I don’t…”  
  
“I _really_ want you to fuck me.” His voice hitches with laughter at the end; a flush burns in his cheeks. “It’s…kinda all I can think about, man.” Which is true, but also not, because Jared’s been trying so hard to think about _not_ thinking about Jensen’s dick up his ass again that, well, it’s definitely become all he can think about. And he has the really bad feeling that it’s the _last_ thing on Jensen’s mind.  
  
Jensen’s gone stiff against him and Jared wants to say something, wants to get Jensen to say _anything_ , but he knows the only thing Jensen wants to hear right now is the one thing Jared refuses to take back. So they sit there, not talking, until the heat in Jared’s blood gets beaten down by the chill of Jensen’s silence.   
  
“Why would you want that?”  
  
Jared startles at the unexpected sound of Jensen’s voice, bitter and angry. He’s so surprised that his fingers dig deep into Jensen’s hips and he hears a sharp inhalation from above him. “I just want it,” he says honestly, because he doesn’t think either of them are ready to hear the extended answer.  
  
Just like that, Jensen’s off the hammock and standing in front of him, eyes glittering and face a blank mask. “You want it,” he parrots, and Jared flinches from the bite in his tone. “You wanna be some guy’s bitch, _JT?_ ” There’s no amusement in his inflection this time, just a cutting cynicism that embarrasses as much as it hurts. “You think your pretty little sister, your pretty little _family_ would get off on knowing you’re out here begging for some guy’s dick in your ass?”  
  
Jensen’s close to shaking now, and Jared doesn’t know what the hell to do. He remains sprawled on the hammock, worried and concerned. “You’re not just ‘some guy’, Jensen,” he says, tries to reassure, but Jensen just laughs a bit manically and turns around.  
  
“You have no fucking clue what I am,” is all he says, and with that overdramatic pronouncement, Jared’s left all by himself outside, half-hard and completely baffled. He watches Jensen slip through the window and drops his head back to stare at the winter Texas sky.   
  
“Shit.” His eyes are burning, and it’s got nothing to do with his allergies. He throws out a few more choice phrases, all damning himself and his _stupid_ tendency to say the wrong thing every. Damn. Time. It matters. Although this time? He’s having a hard time figuring out why it’s a mistake.   
  
Jensen’s in the guest bed across the room by the time Jared makes his way back inside. He shuts the window with a soft _snick_ , tossing his and Jensen’s clothes in a mangled heap on the floor before moving to slide beneath his own sheets. There’s the distinct smell of the vanilla fabric softener his mama covets, and it usually makes him smile and think about days gone by, but all he can do right now is stare at the stiff, unmoving lump in the other bed and think about what the future might bring. Or what it might not.  
  
He sighs a few times, sees Jensen go even more rigid, and then rolls over and squeezes his eyes shut before he opens his fat mouth again. Despite what Megan says, he _can_ take a hint.  
  
He’s awakened some unknown time later, which is really odd since he doesn’t even remember falling asleep, by a pressure at his hip and warm breath on his neck. He shifts, makes a sleepy sound as Jensen whispers, “I’m sorry” and runs his hand down Jared’s back.   
  
“Jen,” he mutters, voice thick and confused, and half-turns to see Jensen’s unblinking gaze. “What’re you…?”  
  
Jensen’s jaw twitches, but he manages a sharp smile that both excites Jared and makes him feel a bit nervous. “Roll over,” Jensen says, hands and voice gentle as he presses a kiss into Jared’s shoulder and helps him onto his belly. Jensen’s mouth moves from shoulder to spine, and Jared shivers a bit.  
  
“I don’t…” he cuts himself off on a short curse as Jensen takes him by the hips and jerks him up, letting Jared feel his slick erection. Jared presses his face into the pillow. “Oh, shit.”  
  
“Quiet.” Jensen’s hand comes around to press against Jared’s mouth, muffling the short gasps and yelps, and then he’s spreading Jared wide open and pressing inside with stuttering pulses of his hips. Jared jerks, fingers clenching in the sheets, sweat breaking out along his back.  
  
“Fuck, it _hurts_ \--”  
  
“I know,” Jensen says, shushes. His voice is almost like a hum now, dreamy and crooning. “Jus’…hold still a minute, okay baby?” Another small thrust while Jensen's hands knead Jared's ass and thighs. “Ease back on my dick now, real slow. We don't have to rush it.”  
  
Jared swallows, trying to shake off the lingering haze of sleep and focus. “I wanna s-see…” his voice breaks when Jensen mouths his neck. “Jesus _Christ_ , Jen, I wanna see your _face_.”  
  
Jensen hesitates on a slow thrust, letting out a tortured growl before jerking Jared back against him. “You wanted this,” he mutters into the dark, teeth sinking into the muscle of Jared’s back. “This is how it happens.”  
  
There’s an odd note in Jensen’s voice that Jared can’t quite place, and then Jensen’s fucking him for _real_ , and it hurts like nothing Jared’s ever felt before, even that first time. And yet he can feel himself responding to the rough pumping and pulling, and he twists back and groans as Jensen’s hand holds him facedown in the pillow.  
  
“Jen—”  
  
“Feel that?” Jensen grits out, shuddering over him. “Oh, _God…_ ”  
  
Jared arches back, reaching down for his dick and grasping it between shaky fingers. It’s a little embarrassing how close he is to blowing it, _this_ , but he can’t keep from squeezing and thrusting into his fist in tandem with Jensen. The first wet splash strikes his forearm and drags a pained sound from his throat, and he closes his eyes and whimpers while Jensen freezes, then starts a shallow hip-thrust that drives Jared deeper into the mattress.  
  
“Fuck…you feel…you’re so…” Jensen sucks in a breath and jerks out of Jared so suddenly that Jared lurches back, wincing at the slick pop of lube and cock. He barely manages to turn his head in time to catch Jensen furiously jacking himself, staring at Jared with hooded eyes and open mouth. There’s an almost _apologetic_ glint in Jensen’s eyes, and Jared rolls the rest of the way over, ignoring the sharp pain from being stretched around Jensen’s cock and grips Jensen by the calf.  
  
“Hey,” he whispers, tongue thick, “s’okay.” He doesn’t know what he’s soothing, but Jensen relaxes a little before tensing and shooting all over Jared’s belly, bucking into his fist with every white-hot blast. Jared manages a smile that’s reflected in Jensen’s eyes. “Well, that was…different.”  
  
“Oh, God.” Jensen squeezes one last burst from his cock, then drops down on his side and pants in Jared’s ear, “The fuck are you doing to me, Padalecki?”  
  
Jared opens his mouth to toss off some witty reply, but there’s vulnerability in Jensen’s expression that stops him short. He risks pissing Jensen off and sending him on the first plane back to Los Angeles, pulling him in close and tangling their legs in an unmistakable embrace. Jensen fights it at first, then just sort of sinks into it, fingers pressing deep grooves in Jared’s back. His nose brushes Jared’s neck when he shifts.  
  
It’s quiet for a long moment before Jared tries to answer. He has to clear his throat, erase some of the emotion clogging him up because he knows _that’s_ crossing the line for both of them right now. He tries for a flippant tone and murmurs, “Just tryin’ to give you a good reason, Ackles.”


End file.
